Should men who cheat emotionally forgive or give up?Here are some criteria to tell you the answer!

2022-06-08 0 By

Q: Would you forgive your partner for emotional cheating?Chen Man: Whether to forgive depends on whether the other party can face up to the wrong behavior of his emotional infidelity;It also depends on whether the cheater realizes how much the act hurts the partner;It also depends on whether the other person can pull away from the cheating relationship and take the initiative to make up for and heal the pain brought to the partner.After all, the spirit is different from the body, the body is easy to “real hammer”, the spirit is much more elusive.It’s like you can see whether someone is eating or not, but you can’t tell and determine whether they want to eat or not.Therefore, many people will often encounter this situation: it is the emotional infidelity of the other person, such as always having a good conversation with someone, letting someone sit in the passenger seat, giving someone a bottle cap, buying a gift for their anniversary and asking for their advice… etc.You think your partner is cheating on you, but she may not know it. Instead, she says innocently, “She’s just my bestie. Bestie says green is very sexy.”If this is the case of “denial”, I suggest you to judge by the following criteria: ① You will contact someone very frequently, including but not limited to the disclosure of personal privacy, complaints, and establish a deep emotional dependence;② I can’t help looking for any opportunity to meet and be alone with each other, such as deliberately working overtime, organizing unnecessary parties, lying to meet clients, etc.③ You can’t help but share your daily life with your partner, even if it is not important, such as “the weather is so nice today”, “I sneezed today” and so on.④ Often compare you with someone, and even feel that you are not as good as this person, that you do not understand him;⑤ Attention can not focus on you, often see you restless, staring at the chat dialog box in a daze giggle, and start to you cold and perfunctory;Of course, there are those who will unsolicited displays of affection, engage in “specious” flirtations, and turn an above-board relationship into a “shady” affair.All of these fall into the category of “emotional infidelity,” but they vary in severity.To sum it up, your partner has a “sexual attraction” with another person that goes beyond friendship and is simply a desire to sleep with them.And it robs your partner of intimacy, deepens the distance between you and your partner, and makes you miserable, insecure and self-doubting.So if you’re sure your partner is emotionally cheating, the first thing to do is not ask yourself if you want to forgive, but give each other a chance to be honest.As I said earlier, many people don’t recognize their own “emotional infidelity” and instead blame others for being “conservative” and “overthinking.”Of course, this blame is not with subjective malice, but his own awareness of the boundaries of intimate relationships is too weak.Whether it is friends or colleagues, they are always out of line and turn normal social relations into ambiguous.In psychology, such “unconscious emotional infidelity” behavior is often hidden behind “narcissistic personality.”This means that he doesn’t fall in love with someone else, but with himself who can always remain attractive in the “feeling of love.”In his heart of hearts, the more he maintains a “feeling of love” with other people, the easier it is to become “obsessed” with his own attraction.At the end of the day, this narcissism stems from feelings of inferiority and weakness.Because of low self-esteem and weakness, they are unable to experience that deep love and trust in long-term relationships.Even when loved, they have doubts and take a dim view of intimacy.Therefore, in order to satisfy the inner lack, it is necessary to create “love feelings” with different people, in unconsciously spiritual infidelity.If your partner is in one of these emotional cheating situations and you are on a good footing, you can have a thorough discussion with your partner before you choose to forgive.In the process of communication, you should accurately express your feelings to each other, and then try to listen to each other. You should peel off your inner feelings one by one, lower your defensive attitude step by step, and open your heart to communicate seriously and deeply.When you have come to know and accept each other again, and he has met the “conditions of forgiveness” I mentioned at the beginning, then you can try to forgive him and try to give each other a chance to heal.I believe that by healing with each other, you will have a deeper understanding of intimacy and a greater ability to make yourself happy.Of course, if you’ve tried too many times and still can’t change yourself or your partner, and you don’t want to put any more energy and time into the relationship, then it’s not a bad thing to leave.Finally, to sum up, a lot of people think that if I forgive each other’s emotional infidelity, he will appreciate my forgiveness and take the initiative to return to the family.That’s not the case. Forgiveness is not a bargaining chip to be exchanged for compromise.Forgiveness is the willingness to forgive each other’s shortcomings and share responsibility for the future after each other truly realize the importance of the relationship.