Middle-aged mom meltdown: Waiting for a boy to learn is like waiting to win the lottery
Having a son is like opening a blind box. If you are lucky, you repay your kindness. If you are almost lucky, you revenge.Want to wait for him one day begin to understand, it is more difficult than and author | mother recently saw a video like this: a treasure mother learned in the middle of a third child again after the son, the first reaction is not happy, moved, but her eyes looking into the sky without god, also sent a few cold…Smile……Even when the nurse brought her son to the bedside, she couldn’t help but quibble: “If only I had changed sex…”Look at this overflow screen disgust, can already imagine the treasure mother’s inner despair.After all, there is a boy at home, that is the test given you;There were two boys in the family. It was “boy on boy”.That must be the day to fall a great man also.Why is it so hard to raise a boy?As a senior mother who has been battling wits with her son for 8 years, I definitely have a say!Together, the girls’ mothers can discuss parenting in a calm way and have elegant tea dates.But the boys’ mothers put their heads together, and the conversation was almost national: Why are boys so confused?What’s it like having a boy in your family?If take three words to describe, I think about is: where there is life constantly trouble over there is more than the destructive power of the little boy is astonishing, as long as five minutes didn’t like him, whatever your home “european-style luxury” elegant “Chinese style” to you all to become “the wind” even if you again gentleness, Buddha again, can let you change to “fight over Buddha” a second.Since I had my son, I have hardly used any brand-name skin care products. It’s not that I can’t afford them, it’s that I can’t afford them.Every day before you go out, even if you dress him up as a young master who can go to dinner anytime;Every time he came home, he looked like a tramp who had rolled in a mire.As long as he is at home, you don’t want to spend a minute quietly, the room is full of 360-degree three-dimensional surround mom: Mom, I want to eat sun Wukong’s ginseng fruit!Mom, check it out! My Severn Altman and Deja Altman are fighting!Worst of all, they don’t realize you’re feeling any negative emotions. You’re ready to explode.He was rocking and singing loud and ready to open.What?You say we boy moms are too cranky?That’s you underestimating the boy’s ability to piss people off.Look at this mother, mingming gently and patiently said to her son: “Baby, the dog mother is allergic, so she can’t keep…”The result somebody else a face earnest ask: that if you bury in the soil of time, I raise again?When my son was a kid, he loved my diamond ring.One day before going to bed suddenly ask me: mom, is not you dead can give me the diamond ring?My heart a surprise, faint of say: actually I die also can give you……The other person’s face gleamed: Really?Oh, my God, if I hadn’t been virtuous in a previous life, the moon would have destroyed me, instead of killing me with my own son.Of course, all this is not enough, the hardest part is that you and your boy’s signal receivers are as wide as a galaxy apart, and their ears are broken or their brains are faulty, never able to communicate properly.You give him two or three instructions, such as, hurry up to pack things, put on clothes and shoes, we are going out!On a good day, he’ll pick up one of these, and most of the time, he’ll be in the bathroom 5 minutes later studying boogers in the mirror??Every time BEFORE going to bed, I told him to promise his mother that he would brush his teeth and go to sleep after playing for 10 minutes.He was always like this: at the end of twenty minutes he was like this — he would not rest until the earth was destroyed;He will not rest until the universe restarts.I asked my best friend’s six-year-old girl to bring me an orange, and she would not only take it for me, but also thoughtfully peel it for me;And if I ask my 8-year-old son to bring me an orange, he’ll ask me, why not an apple?Why not pineapple?Then he took a mango out of the fridge and threw it at my face: “I’m Mango Superman, da da da!”Anyway, I don’t know if he’s enlightened or not, but ALL I know is that my throat is the radiation center, and all seven orifice are about to explode.That day to see the beginning, there is a “aunt Medicine” on the bus, I clap a thigh, this is not the reality of me?Since becoming a mother, my bag has become less and less filled with cosmetics and more and more medicines of all kinds.What fat sea, throat tablets, painkillers, instant salvation pills everything.Two years before the birth of a baby, I also imagined whether to change the school district house;Now it seems that nothing is more realistic than a life insurance!Before my son went to school, the most common sentence I heard was: liu Liu mom, when Liu Liu went to primary school.However goose, wait for him to go up really primary school, I just know, primary school boy and primary school girl, that is clearly come from two kinds of planet of different creature!Primary school girls’ papers are always neat and clean;An elementary school boy’s paper, well, it can be shaped like an airplane, it can be shaped like a cannon, it can be shaped like nuclear waste, but it doesn’t look like a paper.Primary school girls writing case, pencil, ruler, everything, neat;An elementary school boy’s pencil case is like a murder scene. No eraser dies peacefully.Since my son went to primary school, EVERY day WHEN I thought of going home to help him with his homework, I wanted to become a man and smoke two cigarettes in the car before going home.After all, it’s hard to help a boy with his homework without some psychological tolerance.First of all, after dinner every day, I would earnestly ask him to concentrate on his homework and not to linger until 10 o ‘clock.Every time he patted his chest and assured me: An hour later, he went to the bathroom 3 times, grabbed fruit 2 times, and played with a pig for 5 minutes…Finally sat down, buttocks like a snake, on the stool to and fro.I couldn’t bear it anymore and rushed into the room to find only three words scrawled in his exercise book. Yes, it was his name!Ha ha, the man’s promise is like fart, at that time shaking the earth, after pale.Remember a few days ago, a mother from Hangzhou joked: their son has been in grade one, a week before the final exam, shut himself in the room review with concentration all morning.The end result — dozens of origami frogs!Ha ha, you are busy when repairing the day of nu Wa, he is busy folding jump high frog.Also, I urge you to think twice before you check their work: it can range from angry and dizzy to inflamed and blistered throat.I looked at my teacher’s bright Red Cross and wanted to take Harry Potter’s broom and throw him into the trash.Another time, the teacher asked to write a diary, my lovely son wrote: yesterday, my father and I ate the red strawberries, forgot to leave for his mother, finally, we face the mother’s red basin of blood big mouth hold head crying……I thought, I must have beaten his red ass last night and given him red thoughts.Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to teach it myself.I thought it was to help him with his homework, but it never occurred to me that It was Jingwei who reclaimed the sea and threw stones into it without even floating in the water.Finally taught to teach, finally found that I was in the foolish old man.Before the birth of a baby, I can also talk about life and ideals with my husband before going to bed;After the birth of a baby, our bedtime conversation turned to science: Does a boy’s IQ follow his father’s or his mother’s?How can I say it? Since I raised my son, my mood can be summed up in one sentence: I am afraid that he will go to heaven, but also afraid that he will not go to heaven.You want to ask me when the boy can be enlightened, I can only borrow the author “girl fat” a sentence: waiting for the boy to be enlightened, that is like waiting for the lottery.With any luck, a random draw will be the first prize.For example, my neighbor Li Jie’s son, who is in the same grade as my son, usually gets weak awards in all subjects. He has already read Shakespeare in English, and it is said that he also learned system programming in winter vacation.Again, is the second prize;To primary school grade five or six, slowly catch up.You could get a third prize at the worst;Wait for the middle and high school, in a dark and windy day, suddenly woke up.In addition, there are hidden prizes that may be triggered during the drawing: some boys have an amazing voice;Some young age, painting skills full point;Some are incredibly athletic and the hope of the future national team…But more moms like me bought one after another, all saying “Thanks for playing.”I deeply doubt that I shall go from black hair to white hair.But what can we do?Raise a boy, fight is a mentality.Should learn za still have to learn, buy lottery this matter, can not be the emphasis on participation!We need to support all the hobbies we can, just in case one day the EU blows up and pulls out a hidden grand prize?Finally, in this wish you have a boy’s old mother can calm down, the success of the “cross”, open not to enlighten is not important, the important thing is that we have to live happily!